I chose this topic because, we will be talking more about helping you develop, a healthy sleeping habit, in our next BFA meeting. This is an issue you will struggle with in the very beginning of your grief journey, but this is very common, due to the circumstance we are under. Meaning, shock, denial, stress, anger ,and so on. After being married for 43 years, it just wasn’t easy being in that bed alone. I didn’t have that smile on my face, that I had, when I would lie down, knowing he was downstairs ,keeping watch, if you will, while I slept. I never gave anything a thought. The Lord and my husband we’re my sense of safety. Now that I am on my own accord, I was the seeing all and hearing everything, and I do mean everything after dark, once that light was off.
I admit, the first thing I started off thinking was, I will take a sleeping pill, that will help. I admit, it did help, ‘but then, I would get up in the morning dragging and feeling in a daze. But, I continued until, I decided I can’t , do this on a permanent bases because, it was a dependency. I certainly didn’t want that. I am a person of routine and I realized I was going to have to develop ,a routine pattern. I don’t know about you, but I can’t function without a good nights sleep. So, I knew from reading and experience that, the room should be dark, without light shining on you from somewhere. You don’t leave the TV on because it will subconsciously keep you alert. Also, don’t want to be on the computer or your cellphone. You know, that blue light thing. This is some of the DONT’S! And, I’m sure there are more, but let’s move onto what, for me worked.
I knew the first thing I was going to have to deal with was, the dreaded quietness, if there is such a word. I thought back about what use to comfort me when I was a child, and we would go visit my grandmother, sleeping in a bedroom, out in the middle of a far where you can only hear the katydids. What came to my mind was , a fan! My grandparents didn’t have an air conditioner so, we always had a fan running. There was something about the sound that would soothe me. I started eating my last meal of the day @ 6:00. If I eat too late, I for sure couldn’t sleep. I would watch a little TV, nothing scary, gory or intense! For the longest time it was all, Hallmark. Easy to watch, lot’s of love moments, different locations and it always ended good. At around 9:00pm I would of course ,brush my teeth, floss, put on the usual creams and brush my hair. The comfy clothes came on around 5:30 because, I was in for the evening. After I was in bed with my little fan running, I would be cocooned amongst the blankets with a good book. I love Historical Fiction so, that is what I would read. Right now I’m reading “The Women.” I try to read a least 10 pages. By then my mind is settled and my eyes are heavy. Lights off and a prayer to be sent above, Dear Lord, watch over me and keep me safe. Good Night!
