Let yourself say “no”. Above all else, you need to take care of yourself during this time. Grief takes so much out of a person and please be kind and gentle with yourself. This is a time to give yourself permission to say ‘no”. It’s okay.
It’s okay to leave early. You might feel like you are up for a social gathering until you arrive and realize “I am not okay being here”. It is the noise, the couples, the smells, the laughter, etc. Believe me, I have been there! You are allowed to go home early and know that your friends will understand.
You are allowed to change your mind. If you have over committed yourself, be honest. One day you might be feeling “well” enough to attend and when the day comes, you might be hit with a million emotions. The good thing is that you had made those plans. One day, you will be able to carry them out and not be carrying the intensity that grief brings.
Surround yourself with supportive people. I would say this is #1. Surround yourself with those that won’t have expectations and a timeline for your grief.
Know that it’s okay to be sad AND it’s okay to be happy. It’s difficult, extremely. Allow yourself to move those feelings through your body. If you feel happy, and maybe you laugh, that’s okay, too.
Always have an Exit plan. Drive to the holiday party by yourself so you have the option to leave early, if you need to. If you are hosting, go in your room and close the door. It’s okay to take as long as you need close your eyes and breathe.
You will make it!
