Absolutely. I never truly understood the word “stuck” until my husband passed away. I compare it to the times when I was younger and my sister and I would swim in a pond behind our house and the water was filled with muck so thick sometimes, that one time I got stuck that I couldn’t move my legs. Not smart, I know.
Widow brain is like you are walking through that muck, where you can’t think and often can’t even move. Grief and loss have profound effects on your cognitive and emotional well-being, and there are many similarities to that of a brain injury.
Why do you feel so forgetful? Not to get too technical; the amygdala (this is associated with processing emotions) is activated, neurotransmitter levels have changed, prefrontal cortex (the management part of the brain) is affected, neural networks change, etc. All this including the other ways that grief affects a widow, makes widows isolate and think they are experiencing dementia that they are “losing it”, as I have heard many widows say.
Just breathe. The intensity of grief will lessen, and it will create a little space for you to think more clearly. Think of a garbage disposal when it’s stuffed with so much, it’s not until there is some space and some air between the spaces, that can you begin to see things more clearly. Some suggestions or tools are; breath work, stillness, single tasking, counseling, journaling, simple routines, physical activity, talking with other widows, self compassion, and of course, prayer.
When will it get better? Remember grief is unique and there are many variables that are unique to your situation. Don’t compare.
There is no “right” way to go through grief. We have hope and when there is the hope in Jesus Christ, there is always a better! This is not your stopping place.
